The Sweet Life

Sad afternoon...

2012-01-31T23:41:00.001-08:00

This afternoon I'm hurting for my husband. A good friend of his passed away in combat and PJ took it pretty hard. Please say prayers and positive thoughts for my husband and the Stacey family and friends.

No change

2012-01-06T09:33:00.001-08:00

I'm optimistic for the future but I'm still not hopeful for PJ and I.

It's so sad that his disease influences him to shut off about communicating with me about everything and make decisions regarding the future.

I love him so much but I'm tired of waiting for him to even try to work on our marriage. I'm tired of the influence he is on our children with his smoking,chewing, and drinking. His cussing. I don't want our marriage right now that my kids expect to have when they grow up. I'm so sad about it all.

I'm so tired of him pushing me away., I give up. I'll just start packing everything up for the babies and I to go back to Idaho when we get the money I can move up to Idaho since that is what PJ wants.

I can't fight it anymore and he's not willing to try.

Feeling Like Giving Up

2012-01-04T10:59:00.001-08:00

I've been so tired this last month that paying our bills and our budget has fallen apart and I still can't figure out where it went wrong.

Normally people would be able to have a spouse help them with figuring money stuff out but I don't. Every time we have trouble with cash flow PJ retreats in himself and expects me to fix it all without help. I normally still fall him around giving him the info whether he wants it or not. I'm so tired right now though. I'm preggo and trying to bring in more money and I just can't do it right now.

I just have ran out of the energy to keep pushing him towards normalcy. I have been so tired this last 2 months every thing has fallen apart financially. I'm so normally so good at it. Then when I start falling behind instead of supporting me and helping me he just retreats and pushes me away. In this moment I just want to do nothing. I don't want to pay bills, I don't want to push him, I don't want to plan for our next move and I don't to think about the future.

I just want to play with my son and be ignorant to the situation I'm in. And I'm never like that, I've always been a optimistic plan every move kind of person.

It's exhausting and it's only the 4th day of the year. The joys of being married to someone with PTSD.

Mom's book is available on the kindle!

2011-12-30T20:09:00.001-08:00

Read all about having bobcats as pets! Here is the Link!

New year resolution number one...

2011-12-28T18:28:00.001-08:00

GET OUT OF DEBT
I swear I have this every year on my list and we go in the opposite direction so here's what I'm going to do.

Coupon!

Make more money!

Listen to Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman!

BUILD A FREAKIN' EMERGENCY SAVINGS! Seriously this is the biggest reason we're in debt. Car accident? Wipes us out. Flat tire? Sinks us in a hole. New starter? Deeper in the hole! So my goal is 10,000$ by 12/12!

Whose with me?

Favorite Christmas Memory

2011-11-28T01:16:00.001-08:00

Christmas is a big deal for my family so I have a lot of heart warming memories from my youth.

But the one I'm going to share makes me giggle still.

I was a freshman in high school my brother and had a few morning chores on the ranch to do without fail. Even on Christmas morning we had to do them before we could get into our stockings. And we couldn't open anything under the tree until everyone was awake and ready to open presents.

My brother Rebel woke me up very impatient to get in his stocking so I threw on my cozy winter boots and parka(i don't handle cold well, and December in Idaho is flippin' cold)and stumbled after him to the barn where the cows were waiting to eat.

The moon was up,full and bright, especially with all the light reflecting back from all the snow on the ground, it was easy to do chores that way when we were so used to doing them in the dark!

We feed the cows and the horses and the dogs and then made our way back to the house, I stoked up the fire and I remember thinking it was weird there were still so many coals left, it's usually all but dead in the morning when mom came out wondering what all the ruckus was.

Turns out I should have checked the clock when Rebel woke me up because it was only midnight! The moon had tricked me into thinking it was morning and the sun would be up soon. Mom definitely made us go back to sleep without checking out our stockings and I gave Rebel a bad time for waking me up so early :)

Still silver light of the moon on sparkly frozen snow in the sage brush makes me smile and is the one of the few things I like about winter.

Small Business Saturday!

2011-11-26T17:58:00.001-08:00

I love small businesses, I own two and have lots of friends with their own that I am I patron of :)

Today I did my part of small business Saturday by promoting the small business who were online! On my fb wall. Just a lil something I could do :)

What did you do for Small Business Saturday?

Awesome stain remover!

2011-11-26T10:54:00.001-08:00

http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2011/11/new-life-for-old-cookie-sheets.html

This awesome stain remover also gets permanent Marker off the wall! But is safe to use around kids and is all natural!

$1 Memberships to the end of November and I'm still doing my Prematurity Awareness Fundraiser to the end of the month!

Message me to set up a time to learn all about this awesome company!

~Mothers Enhancing Lives and Promoting Wellness business~

Don't want to Jinx it but...

2011-11-26T01:20:00.001-08:00

All good things must come to an end anyways.

The last two weeks have been wonderful. Not perfect but really really great.

Despite all the stress he's been under at work PJ has been in a good mood and has been sweet and loving ( ooo lalala preggo likes that part the best of all!).

I can't sleep cuz I stupidly took a nap with Peanut at 4 to 6 and didn't take Sissy on a walk with the baby cuz it's been so cold for him that I ache and am awake but drinking sleepy time tea and am feeling all gooey about my husband!

PS so I read that I'm more likely to feel Braxton Hicks on the second baby but right now I am feeling them (only 14 wks too!) and feeling my uterus stretch at the same time like really body? Really? Oh well soon everyone will assume I'm preggo and not just fat:)

30 Days to CHRISTMAS!

2011-11-25T21:38:00.001-08:00

So I couldn't find a list of topics for each day leading up to Christmas with a search engine so I'm just making this up people, please bear with me.

DAY ONE: Wish List for your family

DAY TWO: Small Business Saturday!

DAY THREE: Favorite Christmas Memory.

DAY FOUR: Traditions you love for Christmas.

DAY FIVE: Favorite Holiday lights

DAY SIX: Christmas Cards! What r u sending and what did you want to send?

DAY SEVEN: Favorite thing with greens and red. Could be food or clothes or a craft. Just tells us what and how to buy it make it or where u found it.

DAY EIGHT: Favorite form of stress relief around the holidays?

DAY NINE: One thing you could change about the world?

DAY TEN: Third of the way there, are you ready?

DAY ELEVEN: Parties, love them or hate them?

DAY TWELVE: Have you gotten all your Christmas shopping done?

DAY THIRTEEN: When did you start decorating for Christmas? Did you respect the turkey?

DAY FOURTEEN: Is the Holiday to commercialized?

DAY FIFTEEN: traveling far?

DAY SIXTEEN: Best gift you have ever given.

DAY SEVENTEEN: Best gift you have ever received.

DAY EIGHTEEN: Reason for the Season.

DAY NINETEEN: What are you making/baking for Christmas?

DAY TWENTY: Two thirds of the way done! Are you getting excited?

DAY TWENTY-ONE: mmmm Eggnog! What other alcoholic holiday drinks do you enjoy?

DAY TWENTY-TWO: Favorite historical tidbit about Christmas?

DAY TWENTY-THREE: Favorite Stories to read for Christmas?

DAY TWENTY-FOUR: What will you be wearing for Christmas Day?

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: Non gift related wishes for the Holiday?

DAY TWENTY-SIX: If you had a million dollars but who had to give it to charity, and not a stripper with that name, who would u give it too?

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN: Have all your stocking stuffers ready? What do you always always put in the stockings?

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT:
At Christmas after the presents what does your family do traditionally?

DAY TWENTY-NINE: Christmas Eve! Open a present or no? Or open all of them?

DAY THIRTY: Christmas! Write about whatever the heck moves you today!

ETA: just found this to start on december 1st!

http://go.tipjunkie.com/ch/396/printable.tipjunkie.com/christmas-scripture-tradition/

Christmas Wish List

2011-11-25T20:55:00.001-08:00

Now that Thanksgiving is over I can start talking about my most favorite holiday; CHRISTMAS!

What is not to love?
It is when our Savior was born, it has Santa, there are presents both giving and it is the bright spot in winter, which is my least favorite season.

So just to get it out of way for the relatives here is my wish list for my lil family:)

Peanut:
Toy Box! This kid needs a toy box or I'm Giving away all his toys!

Toys :) especially ones on wheels and ones with holes to poke shapes through , and something to hammer.

A mountain climbing harness! he's been climbing the couch and his parents a lot lately lol

Clothes fit for cowboy or scholar (I love sweater vests)

Love Bug:
Bassinet
Crib, new that meets the brand new regs that came out last yr
Carseat that also matches all safety regs
Double jogging stroller with shock absorbers
Mommaroo most amazing thing Eva and I want!

PJ: okay this is more what I want for him but he always buys what he wants before you can get it for him for Christmas and his birthday, so I recommend:
Smokeless cigarettes
GameStop gift cert
Flatscreen tv
Men's warehouse gift cert
Final cut pro
Mac computer
Professional movie camera thing?

My wish list
New starter for the Mini Van
A Washer and Dryer puuuhllllleeez Santa!
Pretty nursing bras, if I'm going to be nursing lil ones for another two yrs I'm done with my ugly ones!
Gift cards to target amazon babies r us and just general ones.
Oh and this water bottle! Too cool! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003KZKE3A/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/178-2738845-1512919?redirect=true

Mostly l just want you all to have a happy holiday that is minimally stressful and maximumly Joyous!

And remember to shop local and support your small businesses!

I'm So Thankful for all in my life!

2011-11-24T11:40:00.001-08:00

I complain more than I should but I really am truly blessed to have all that I have.

I'm thankful to have God in my life.

I'm thankful that Jesus died for our sins.

I'm thankful PJ chose me to marry him. Yes it's been so hard to live with him and his PTSD but how can I not when he still takes my breath away and gives me tingles? When he still makes me laugh and totally gets my, er, UNIQUE sense of humor? When he helped me create the worlds most adorable son?

Speaking of which; I'm thankful for my son! He has brought me fulfillment and happiness I didn't know I could have.

I'm thankful that I have a family, close and extended that love and support me.

I'm thankful to have friends that move me and inspire me and motivate me and some who are just like me!

I'm thankful for the country I live in. We need some tweaks here and there but overall we have it pretty great!

I'm thankful for having horses in my life. Being horse crazy makes me who I am!

Thankful for being raised on a ranch. Taught me a good work ethic, compassion, practicality and the importance of family!

I'm thankful to have spent the majority of my childhood without electricity because it taught the real meaning of "needs" and also I appreciate having it that much more now!

I'm thankful that I finally live in a house with a dish washer, I used to spend all day washing dishes and it

I appreciate the turkey I just ate, it was good and I'm really proud of the job I did!

I'm thankful of blogger for giving me a way to express myself in a manner that actually seems like expression! Not just hidden in a dusty journal somewhere.

I'm thankful for my dog, she is my companion and Peanut's buddy!

I'm thankful for my crockpots, they make my day manageable!

I'm thankful for Facebook and twitter, it's been a great way to stay connected with my family and friends.

I'm thankful for Idaho, such an awesome state and I never truly appreciated it until I had to live in California.

Thankful for cows, they're cute and tasty!

Thankful for this pregnancy, to be a mother of two babies will be so wonderful. Stressful and exhausting too but also wonderful!

For cuddle time, my favorite parts of the day.

For baby kisses, is there anything sweeter?

And I could go on and on. What are you thankful for today?

aaawww my heart be still

2011-11-23T21:20:00.001-08:00

PJ and Peanut just spent 45 mins playing. PJ didn't even make it all about him; instead he made it all about Peanut. These are the moments that make me fall in love all all over again!

Special Thanksgiving post tomorrow!

Of course all about being thankful! but can we ever send out to many grateful vibrations to the universe and give to much thanks to God? I don't think so!

How is everyone anyways? kind of been comment ghost town around here....

PJ's deployment

2011-11-23T16:36:00.001-08:00

I'm not one to just post a link and not talk about it but this week has been crazy so I'm doing it again.

Here's a story about the exact spot PJ was deployed.

He's not mentioned directly in this short story/news report but he's one of the many lance corporals not mentioned who also went through all of this. This is why he has PTSD

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?159524-A-Change-in-Mission-2-7-in-Now-Zad

It's okay you can say it. My husband is kind of a bad ass.

and this came from all the guys that served with him on facebook regarding 2/7 in 2008 in general.

"2nd Battalion 7th Marines, the first battalion along with 1/6 of the the United States Marine Corps to re-enter Afghanistan. Dropped in the worst areas imaginable with little or no support these men showed the true meaning of what it means to be a Marine. Despite heavy losses including 20 KIA and over 160 WIA, and hindered by neglect from the highest levels, the men of 2/7 battled impossible odds, and came out on top with one of the most successful campaigns against the Taliban in the history of the Afghan Conflict, killing more Taliban than the entire U.S. Army presence had in the three prior years."

Someone else's Blog Post on PTSD!

2011-11-22T11:00:00.001-08:00

Some good info! I'm not exactly sure how credible the author is but the info in this post mirrors what my own research has been telling me!

Check it out as a warm up to the blog post I'm working on!

http://blog.familyofavet.com/2011/06/no-joke-it-actually-works.html

The Day in iPad Photos

2011-11-21T16:17:00.001-08:00

This is what we did today!
Ate blueberries
Washed off Blueberry stains
Cleaned the house for my first ever coupon class!
Cuddled on the couch before dinner

The Baby Blog! Post that is.

2011-11-21T00:21:00.001-08:00

So as you saw from last weeks picture we have another lil peanut on the way. This blog post is to give you the fun details that I know to date and to rant a little, let go of some anger and lower my blood pressure, fair warning!

I'm very excited about having a sibling for our toddler (where did my baby gooooo?!) and PJ is more upset than anything. I hate his illness, I think it's going to rob him of a lot of special moments but more on that later in a special edition blog on PTSD.

Here is the Love Bugs story; the one that is just starting for her;)

End of September I was laying in bed felling sick to my stomach and I swore I had a fever, the thermometer said other wise.
I went and got dinner because PJ is a douche bag and couldn't eat what I cooked or get his own fast food; but also wouldn't stop bugging me to get him food"baby I hungee!" "Well I feel sick and want to throw up can't you just leave me alone?" "bbbbaaaaabbby"
Ugh I hate it that he's the only one allowed to rest when sick. Dick.

I didn't eat much and went to bed hoping to be better the next day. I wasn't.

I felt sick all day long for a week before I got a pregnancy test.

I bought a cheapo $.99 one and bam!

Babies!

Well one anyways. A good friend of mine just had identical twins so I had the thrilling and scary thought that two lil love bugs could be in there! Eeeek!

I went out when PJ got home and had relaxed a little bit and said to him
"what I have to tell you is going to stress you out but there is nothing I can do about it and I need you to just be calm and breathe" then I showed him the test and he of course cussed a little then drove off for booze and chew. Self medicating mental problems is how everyone should do it!

He remembers as: I came out giddy as a school girl and said "omg! Like, we're totally having another baby! Isn't that the best news ever, lover?" and then he got wasted.

Yeah, no.

PTSD really messes up the memory.

As much as I would like to get excited with my husband over this new lil member of our family I have to reserve that honor for my women friends. He can't even to bring himself to ask how the baby or I am doing, or maybe he just doesn't think of us; I never know with him!

I see other husbands being all cute with their preggo wives or being sweet lil new dads and I want to turn around and punch my husband in the throat without saying why.

Any who!

Some fun Love Bug details:

I'm hoping for a girl, we won't know until at least 6 more weeks. With our Peanut we waited to find out the gender until he was born. PJ was not a fan so I'm letting him have his way this time. And I really really want to know if it's a girl so I can start sewing dresses!

You may have noticed with our son his nickname was Peanut and I like using something different for this baby so we're going with Love Bug, or at least I am. PJ doesn't refer to the baby at all right now unless it's to complain about it's existence.

We're due May 20th! So that means by the time I get healed up from delivery there will still be a couple months of good riding weather! Yaaaaay!

This baby's stuff and the stuff that is shared between the two children (totally just said that in chef's voice), like the double stroller is red. At least that's what I'm shooting for, I however am not going to turn down a good deal if it's the wrong color. I find the dble jogging stroller I want for $50 and it's mine, I don't care what color it is!

If the baby obeys me and is a girl her name will be Victoria Leigh and if the baby is a boy then we haven't decided. I like Philip David myself. Or David Philip.

So that is where we are now, next appt is in the middle of December and is just a check up. I had way more sickness with this pregnancy than with James Ray but am golden now! Man I love the 2nd trimester!

Oh and I am taking prenatals but not the generic ones the hospital gives the pregnant mommies, this time I'm wiser and take vitamins that are especially formulated to be ten times more absorbable then the leading vitamins and protects us from the free radicals that multi vitamins can cause. And I'm taking a high quality Prenatal Omega 3 supplement from the beginning this time instead of just last trimester like I did with Peanut.

If you want to know about these awesome supplements message me and we'll set up a time to talk all about it!

Bye my ten readers! I'm thankful for everyone of you!

P.S. my husband is really an awesome man and is struggling with a very real and difficult disease. Almost all of the douchebaggery that he does is a direct result of having PTSD and I know this intellectually. But when he can't see or stop himself from acting the way he does in these situations it's very frustrating for me and I'm only human. I love him with all my heart but I still get pissed at the inconsiderate shit he does. Does daily that is. Although this week as been nicer than usual, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. So sad but he has conditioned me to be this way.

I do plan on doing a blog about what I have learned about PTSD since people have a lot of weird ideas about it. Know now he doesn't beat us. He can get better. It's not just fixed with Anger Management or faking that everything is happiness and rainbow, mmmmkay?

Pinterest.

2011-11-14T20:17:00.001-08:00

I'm still on some waiting list (soooo frustrating!) but I've been playing with my iPad app and SO MANY AWESOME IDEAS MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE!

And here is messy cuteness from tonight!

James Ray is Very Thankful!

2011-11-14T12:33:00.001-08:00

Info Requested by My SIL's Diabetic Friend

2011-08-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

"*Drink 2 to 4 cups of Melaleuca Herbal Tea each day and take the Vitality Pack with Oligofructose Complex and CellWise, Take ProvexCV at the therapeutic dose level (one capsule per 35lbs of body weight daily). This increases circulation and reduces the incidence of many diabetic symptoms. Heart disease has been shown to be on of the most serious possible side effects of diabetes. These supplements are very important to protect the eyesight of diabetics and should be taken by any diabetic suffering from neurpathy, retinopathy, kidney problems, or circulation problems.

The American journal of Clinical Nutrition reported when working with insulin-dependent diabetics that 45% of all insulin-dependent diabetics tested significantly reduced their insulin after only a few weeks. Caution: Monitor your blood sugar carefully. You may have to adjust your insulin accordingly.

Note: Be careful to work Fiberwise into your food exchange because it does have some sugar.

Blood sugar Levels can be somewhat regulated using the Access Performance Bars and/or Sustain Sport. (Try a small amount at first and adjust to fit your personal needs and tolerance level.) Make exercise and a low-fat, low-sugar diet a way of life. A healthy nutritional program is important no matter what the challenging condition.

For best mouth health use Classic Tooth Polish, Classic Dental Floss, and Breath-Away Mouth Rinse at least twice daily. For the quickest healing of wounds use MelaGel and T36-C5. NutraView should be taken as directed to safeguard your vision. Some find that taking Luminex three times each day and Provex-Plus four times each day is also very helpful."

All that in between the quote marks comes from the awesome book The Melaleuca Wellness Guide 14th Edition from RM Barry Publications.

RM Barry Publications is an independent publishing company and is not affliated with or related to Melaleuca, Inc. This information is not endorsed, approved or sponsored by Melaleuca, Inc.

RM Barry Publications hasn't asked me or paid me to put this info on my blog, in fact they don't even know I'm a proud owner of the guide!

If you love Melaleuca and want a guide you can get it at www.RMBarry.com

If you want to know more about Melaleuca Email me and we'll set up a meeting to talk.

Thanx guys!

I miss the Bump

2011-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy with house and son and working out that I haven't had a chance to bump in FOREVER!

I miss my online friends. I hope they know I'm thinking of them!

hard work recognized! woot woot!

2011-07-27T20:24:00.001-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

look what i got today!

2011-07-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

morning nap time.

2011-07-17T22:19:00.001-07:00

awwww reminds me of that cartoon of the little kitten asleep on bull dog

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

My Story

2011-07-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

I've started my own business with a wonderful wellness company that I'm not 100% sure I can mention their name in a blog post so instead I will when ever I need to say their name I'll have a link to my business website so you can get the info about them.

One of the trainings that the wellness company has you do is write out your story. The story that you will tell every time you present your business. The story they will publish when you are successful, the story that will be repeated when your team and business partners talk about you as an example.

As I penned it out I thought it would make a awesome blog; here is what I have with some edits for the blog.

I started my Wellness business so that I could stay home with my son but contribute to the household income that at the time was being solely shouldered by my husband.

I was so excited about the business opportunity with this Wellness that I spent the last 90 bucks I had to buy the membership and my first order all at once and since then I haven't looked back.

This company isn't just about green natural products that have less of an impact on the environment but a way to help others improve their lives.

They can bring in extra income to pay off debt and go towards their dreams and improve the health of their family at the same time!

So far that is my story

Email for info on this awesome company

awwww both my babies are all tuckered out from our walk

2011-07-05T22:21:00.001-07:00

after some calorie burning walking today the real baby and the fur baby just couldn't stay awake!

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

not making it easy on daddy and enjoying it at the same time!

2011-07-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

Man I Love Summer!

2011-07-03T12:17:00.001-07:00

homemaker look for the day

2011-07-03T11:10:00.001-07:00

I've a big list of things i want to do for the day that go along the lines of: wash dishs
start crock pot lasagna
alter thrift store dress
fix summer dress
print off baby pics for the relatives
more grocery shopping

I'm just a lil homemaker today! oh and i have a meeting with a customer this evening too!

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

top teeth taking their sweet time coming in

2011-07-03T09:45:00.001-07:00

so I've noticed these top teeth kinda breaking through since thursday morining and the little jerks r kinda just hovering there. just enough to keep his gums swollen and james a cranky baby. poor lil man!

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

so sweet

2011-06-29T06:15:00.001-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

from momchelle's phone, lil man chowing down.

2011-06-28T20:14:00.004-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

chardonnay in my my little pony cup!

2011-06-28T20:14:00.003-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

living it up with my wine in my My Little Pony cup!

2011-06-28T20:14:00.001-07:00

you can't see because of my phones dumb flash but it actually says "pony princess." Mommies like me have to get our Friday night thrills where we can!

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

James Ray's First Birthday Wish List!

2011-06-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

For the Fam. These are some things James Ray ;) would like for his Birthday!
phone cube

standing activity cube (B.A.!)

sqeezy number blocks

toy phone

alpha berry

Castle alpha blocks

matchy matchy magnetics

Farm play set!

Farm Bank (naturally he won't get ahold of the coins until he's older)

Farm play thing

less fancy farm play thing

noise maker farm thing

Baby Einstein Farm Animal Book

Farm Animal block :)

Farm Animal bowling set!

Farm Animal See and Say

Farm Animal Sounds book

John Deere Hay Ride Set

plush farm animal carry set

Musical Learning Cow!!!! So Freakin' Cute!!!!

tractor and trailer

wooden puzzle

sing a long farm

pull a long

and I think you get the idea

I'm so lucky i get to spend my mornings with this little guy

2011-06-24T11:04:00.002-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

i love this stuff mixed it to my cooked oatmeal

2011-06-24T11:04:00.001-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

james in the shopping cart cover

2011-06-21T09:00:00.001-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

how cute are they?

2011-06-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

look what Mom Chelle spotted in Rexburg!

2011-06-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

I'm so EXCITED to work from while helping others.

Got My First Two Enrollments!

2011-06-17T10:47:00.001-07:00

I'm officially on a roll! Two Enrollments in two days!

Classes for New Dads?

2011-06-16T14:04:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today that hospitals could offer a lot more classes for new dads other then the ones that show you how to feed, bath, change diaper etc for new dads. Like "how to play with baby"or "MANDATORY: How to Massage the Mommy". Comment me with your cool new dad class idea for giggles and reading enjoyment :)

and here is a cute pic of my man with our son:

awwwww

Mother's Day!

2011-05-31T11:27:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day (May 2011) we were heading from 29 Palms CA to Idaho when I rolled the Jeep between Ely and Wells Nevada.

It was raining pretty hard and I was going just under the speed limit when I looked down at my consol to move some trash out of the way to check the time on my cell when I swerved and then over corrected causing me to lose control. The Jeep spun around and then went off the side of the road which was so steep (and pretty much a drop off at the white line) that it cause the jeep to roll one and a half times landing on its top.

Both PJ and lost our glasses in the wreck so we were pretty much blind for a couple days, my hair (which is like 2-3 feet long) ended up between the jeep and the ground a PJ had to pull it out. We lost our dog Tank (like actually is missing but not dead as far as we know) but Sissy came right back to us and I am so so thankful James Ray was kept safe in is car seat.

It's impossible to express my sure terror that something may have happened to James Ray, PJ was able to get himself unbuckled and out and kept asking me if I was ok and I yelled at him I "didn't care how I was doing just check on my baby!" Then after he unbuckled James Ray and determined he was ok and got my hair unstuck I asked PJ how PJ was feeling and he said ok, some people stopped and rescued us and that's when he started really hurting and having trouble breathing.

PJ had a hurt back and a hard time breathing so they life flighted him to the Elko hospital while James and I rode in the ambulance.

At the hospital they confirmed James Ray was ok and also the cutest baby in the world, that I just had bruises and scrapes, and PJ had a compacted spine but his lungs were ok.

Jerrica rescued us from Elko and took us to Twin where we met up with Mom and Dad and stayed in a motel before driving back down to Wells to look at the Jeep.

The Tow company there pretty much sucked booty and charged us (but our insurance paid) $605 to tow the Jeep, wouldn't let us see the jeep until the bill was paid (effing jerks) and then charged another $25 for a overnight storage fee even though they are closed on Sunday so they would have charged us to open the place up on the day of the accident if we wanted to get the jeep then. They are pretty much raging a-holes. Don't wreck near Wells NV, okay?

PJ asked them to wave the fee since we couldn't have got to it on a Sunday anways and asked if they could do it for a combat vet, they said no they couldn't do that so PJ replied "Well you might want to put a sign on the door that says you DON'T support the military." Maybe a little harsh but it totally felt justified at the time.

The tow company told us they could "dispose" of the jeep for us because as you can see in the pics below there was no driving it anywhere but we were able to get a hold of a salvage yard that gave us $200 for the jeep. The Salvage man was nice, totally made up for the d-bags at d-bag towing.

We then went back to Idaho with mom and dad and have been doing our best to handle the stuff the the wreck affected while still having fun with friends and family. Like that fact some jerk stole my clutch from the wreck sight and used my credit card. I mean really the nerve of some people!

Here's the pictures from the wreck:

I still feel so guilty that I put my son at such risk and hurt my husband. Not to mention the stress and financial burden that this has put on our family now. Our families have been helping us a great deal but in a way that makes me feel even more guilty that we have to have so much help.

I'm dealing with it the way I usually do, being optimistic, especially in front of everyone else. And if I feel like breaking down I do it alone in the shower or something. A good cry is cathartic as long as its not in front of people who will just feel bad that I'm crying. Then that is just plain embarrassing.

nap time. love how sweet he looks<3

2011-05-06T11:58:00.001-07:00

shanna spiller

zombie baby

2011-05-05T22:04:00.001-07:00

he was trying to eat my knee, brains were a little out of his reach.

his napping position is so sweet

2011-04-12T13:28:00.001-07:00

he's having way to much tun making a mess & then he'll have tons getting clean, all win for baby

2011-04-03T19:27:00.001-07:00

he's trying so hard to make his spoon work...

2011-04-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

tired baby

2011-03-27T15:33:00.001-07:00

at the track

2011-03-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

2011-03-09T08:51:00.001-08:00

My fabric for Peanut's shopping cart cover!
SweetSpiller

Letter to My Son.

2011-02-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Peanut,

I love you so much; it would be hard for you to understand how much until you're a parent yourself.

Right now you are growing so fast that it breaks my heart, every day you are doing something new. Everyday your legs are a little longer. Everday my eyes get all misty looking at you and remembering how just half a year ago you were less than half the size you are now. You will always be my baby boy no matter how big and strong you get.

I'm so excited and looking forward to showing you how to ride horses and manage cattle. I am going to enjoy sharing with you my love of reading and writing. I will love getting to share our family history and heritage. There is just so much to show you!

I hope that you will grow up to a honest man who takes pride in his work and is kind to others. I hope you find a wonderful person to be your partner and give me grandchildern to spoil.

You will hear me joke often about you becoming rich and taking care of me but I hope you know that I'm joking. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Far more important is family friends and God. Focus on what brings you joy and contentment, find the career that you enjoy the most and just be wise with your money (I've started reading you The Richest Man in Babylon just so you can have wisdom I didn't when it comes to money ) and everything else will fall into place.

I believe that you will find what makes you happy and that will make me happy. I'm more than willing to stretch the time out though before you leave me for your big grown up life and just enjoy my time I have with you now little man. My little Peanut. My Chunk a lunka.

Love

Your Mother

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

2011-02-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Mrs.me

Today's blog is going to make you sound vain, narcissistic and boastful. It's okay though because you're doing a challenge that made you write about what you love about yourself and I would most certainly hope there is a lot to love about you!

So I love your hair, except in the morning when I have to spend 15 minutes brushing the snarl in the back out. but then, after that, it looks beautiful!

I love your eyes, they get complimented a lot, they go from light brown, to hazel, to green and it's awesome, with the right eyeliner technique they can even look exotic! I really hope they get passed on to a lil' daughter some day.

I love your sense of honor that keeps you from lying.

I love your sense of stubborness that keeps you hanging on when others would have let go.

I love you loyalty to the ones you love.

I love how you find such good feelings in taking care of others.

I love that you a have a knack for catching horses that don't really want to be caught.

I love how you can ride all day long and not get sick of it.

I love how make the cutest babies ever.

I love your feet. Even if no one notices how cute your feet are you have nearly perfect feet. Shoe companies should make a plaster mold of your feet to make plastic copies of to use when designing shoes because your feet are that perfect.

I love you seat when you ride, when your in riding shape you have a niiiiiiiice seat!

I love how you love family. Family is everything to you.

I love how you are always trying to make yourself a better person, you see and admit (most) of your weakness and you take steps in getting rid of them. trying to find the balance that will get you as close to you're on definition of perfect as possible.

Love you dearly

Me

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

2011-02-09T19:55:00.000-08:00

This one is so easy its laughable. I want to change my weight. if you need more reason why and how I'm working on that just check out my other blog http://shapingshanna.blogspot.com

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

2011-02-08T21:06:00.000-08:00

I'd be pretty dang excited! Except that would put me into being pregnant over the summer again, which is something I want to avoid this next time around so I can ride this summer. But I would be thrilled to have another baby; Peanut has me raging with baby fever. Every time I see a poor suffering child on on tv I want to adopt it right then and there! Poor PJ.

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

2011-02-07T21:14:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how to answer this really. I mean my son is the most important person right now, he needs me so much because with all of PJ's issues I can't really depend on him to take care of Peanut for any longer than me to take a 30 minute nap.

PJ obviously is pretty important too.

They are people though, not things. To me this question seems more like on what talent or trait or job do I have going for me right now.

To that I would have to say my stubbornness. I'm not into drama, I don't get girly very often, I try to be gracious and caring but man am I stubborn.

My stubbornness, in combination with my faith, keeps me going: when there is no money and PJ's being a arse, it keeps hanging in there, when I really just want to give up on dieting, when I keep getting thwarted from being on the ranch with my moo moos and horses it keeps my hope alive.

Right now my stubbornness is the best thing going for me.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

2011-02-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

There have been a couple different times, I don't really like to dwell on it. When I was grade school aged I use to think of it a lot, I was made fun of a lot in grade school for being poor and it really got to me. Then Mom homeschooled us and I became a good rider and had an Awesome friend in Alison and got over it, I learned to get my self worth from myself not others and enjoy factors that make me, Me! Those things will be coming up soon don't worry :) yes and I do realize that sounds a little bit (ALOT) narcissistic :)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

2011-02-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure it's because I was meant to be alive. not that I ever took in huge risks. Aside from riding green horses that is. There have been some fairly close calls with them.

I really believe however that when it is your time to go you will go and nothing can keep it from happening. So my philosophy is to live my life to the best quality as possible, which means to me to be in the best health possible, to ride as much as possible, to raise my family in a lifestyle that encourages learning, a strong work ethic, and strong morals. It also means staying in touch with friends and family, having fun but in balance with working. And to never stop learning!

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

2011-02-04T21:58:00.000-08:00

I'm going to take the easy route on this one and make my playlist for my husband, it's also appropriate since our anniversary is next month!

I'll start with:
I keep Loving you by Reba because I've had to sing a lot the last 5 months.

Your Man by Josh Turner because you used to sing it me when you called while deployed

Brassbed by Josh Gracin because it played our first morning together

Hazel Eyes by The Darkness because we both think it rocks

and that's all I can think of right now.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life

2011-02-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Where do I Begin? I wish i had finished college, I wished I saved more money, I wish I ate less when I got on BC the first, second, and third time. I wish I didn't live in this cold gosh forsaken trailer that cost a shitload and is falling apart around our ears. I hate it!

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

2011-02-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

This is hard because it goes back to how I appreciate all the (many many many) mistakes I've made in my life. I'm the kind of person that can't let them go until I can see the when/what/how of the mistake so I don't repeat it.

If I had to choose how ever I would say I wish opened any credit cards in college, I did really good keeping them paid down when the money came in on schedule and all my roommates pd what they said they were going to pay. When those things didn't though I was up shit creek. I should have no better, I should have known my life was to unstable for something like that right then. but that was then and this is now. You live and learn right?

2011-02-02T13:58:00.001-08:00

Nap time
SweetSpiller

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Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

2011-02-02T00:46:00.000-08:00

If my friend was in a car accident OF COURSE I would go to be there with her (and some hims). How could I not? I'd probably feel bad that our fight was such a distraction to keep her from driving defensively.

also who would be so callous as to say anything but to be there for their friend? Seriously.

Word for the Year

2011-02-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

Gratitude

This is the word I want to focus on for 2011.

I will focus on being grateful for all that I have!

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

2011-02-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

Drugs and Alcohol are something I think that there are way to many laws on, but only because people made way to many stupid decisions on. The laws didn't really help though, I mean are there less 19 yr olds getting drunk and being stupid because it's against the law? No. In fact back when I was writing papers for school about many college and high school counselors as well as deans were hypothesizing that there was more since the kids couldn't spend their money on expensive bar drinks they were buy (or rather having some one buy) the much cheaper grocery store drinks, so they can buy more at a time and get even more wasted (way to go MADD you accomplished making drinking more dangerous I hope you're proud of yourselves).

Prohibition almost never works, especially with stuff that don't seem that dangerous, e.g. Weed and Booze.
If we really want people to do less of something we can't just make a law and expect it to go away, to really fix it we need to change society's psychological view of it. Make the people think its extremely uncool (what I like the about the meth project, I know I will never ever try meth because I don't want to look that bill board and the other dozens of real life people I saw in Twin Falls who ruined their lives on with meth).

I don't really do much in the way of altering my mind temporarily, I've tried a few things and I used to drink a LOT but I grew up and learned to deal with my issues and now months will go by with out me drinking. When I do enjoy it I don't get drunk and I genuinely enjoy it-I savor it, sensing taste, feeling of texture, and its other effects. The way it was meant to be done.

With any mind altering drug if you do to much of it, its bad! Moderation is key in everything from booze, to hash, to tobacco, to food, to shopping, to gambling, to even sex!

If you are drinking everyday, you probably should look at why you are doing it and stop. If you're smoking mary jane every day you should probably look at why you are doing it and stop. If you doing ecstasy every night, well you should probably stop and you should be my friend because if you can afford to do that every night then you're loaded and I want you around me when you get the urge to spend money.

If you doing any drugs or alcohol every night for "stress" you need drop these cumbersome crutches and learn how to deal with these factors that cause stress head on. Drugs (I'm just going to include alcohol under the title of drugs to save my fingers) are only disguising your emotions from you. Trust me when I say that you will be a lot better off if you can learn to deal with your stress and dissipate the negative effects on your own with chemicals; they won't always be there.

Not only that but they are so much more fun when you use them only occasionally and you already have the stress gone, you never have to worry about being that chick at the party drunk/high crying her eyes out with mascara smudged from eye to ear to nose. Happy stress free partiers don't cry.

2011-01-31T10:43:00.001-08:00

the onesie says it all:)
SweetSpiller

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

2011-01-31T09:49:00.000-08:00

I'll start off by stating I'm a very religious person. I believe in God and Jesus with all my heart and soul, but I'm not that in your face religious type person. and I don't go to Church. I like places of worship just fine but I think it's to easy for people to be controlled by them. So I like to do my praying all the time, my worshiping is every day when ever the mood strikes me. I gain strength from knowing that everything hard that is happening, it's happening for a reason; that God and Jesus are taking care of me even if it doesn't seem like it now. I honestly don't know how anyone who isn't spiritual can get through life, without thinking that there is a reason for their suffering in the moment. That when something great is gone it means that something better is coming. Maybe that's why suicide rates among teens have been going up, because they lost faith in everything without their parents teaching it to them anymore, I don't know.

As far as politics go, I like them, I like them a lot! I'm tend to vote for conservatives even though there are some liberal issues I agree with, but conservatives seem to be the ones that protect the issues near and dear to my heart the most. They are the most protective of the land owner, of ranchers and farmers (a BIG DEAL to me!) and the right to bear arms.

Things I wish Conservatives would stop freaking out about is gay marriage (read yesterday's blog) and try to make abortion illegal. I don't like abortion, I can't think of a situation where I would get one and I'd probably disown a daughter of mine who got one just because it "wasn't a good time in her life for a baby" (I'd be more lenient about a rape case) not even joking. If it's a good time to have sex people then it's a good time for a baby. If you can't handle giving up 9 months of boozing for the sake of a human life than you better just go by a vibrator. Seriously. I do know my strong feelings a firmly planted in my religious views though and I would never force that on any one but my own offspring. I would also do my best not be judgmental on some one who did it, unless of course they're my own child and then I would get seriously pissed and never talk them again. Including any sons who encourage someone they got knocked up to an abortion.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

2011-01-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

I skipped day fourteen on accident, so I'm doing it now.

I wouldn't say there is a specific hero that let me down but rather a series of people I've looked up too all my life that I had to realize where human and thus not perfect and saint like. Nothing major but we all have people when we were younger that we thought were perfect and beyond reproach and I learned that we are all human, all imperfect, and all sinners. We should always appreciate it people take time out of their day to help us out when we need it but we should never come to expect it, we never should come to relay on anyone but ourselves. We should work hard at becoming that perfect person who we always wanted to lean on. My philosophy is everyone's idea of perfect is different, just work on getting to your version of whatever it is.

For me to be perfect I will be Honest (pretty sure I'm there already), gracious (need to work on that), non judgmental (I really really need to work on that), thin (I am working on that), Strong-both physically and mentally, a good cook, a good seamstress, A good parent now and my kids' good friend when they're all grown up, but now until they grow up. A good business woman, a awesome rancher and a Phenomenal horsewoman (Have a lot of work in these areas too), a working knowledge of spanish, able to read some chinese and a intimate knowledge of Gaelic--I want to know Gaelic like I know english. I want to be a better artist. I want to be better at saving money and happier spending less of it. I would like to be able to write articles and short stories and maybe even get paid for them.

When/if I reach all of this then I will be pretty dang perfect I think.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

2011-01-30T12:04:00.000-08:00

My view on gay marriage are not going to be very popular with my conservative friends but its the truth.

I don't care if homosexual couples get married, and yes it does seem unfair they can't if hetro's can. Mostly though I'm not sure why any marriage is a LEGAL issue. Maybe to make sure some man doesn't have two families? Makes taxes easier? I'm don't think those are reasons to have the government involved in a personal and often religious matter.

It should be left to the people who do the marrying that if you and your church(or other religious establishment) is against same sex marriage, you don't marrying them and if your religious establishment (aka church) doesn't see the difference between different sex and same sex marriage then it can marrying them. Everyone wins!

But that's just me.

5 Months Old!!!

2011-01-29T13:43:00.000-08:00

My little boy is 5 months Old! Lets look back on what that means.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

2011-01-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

I've read a lot of books...a lot. Growing up without electricity reading was our main form of entertainment. Every book I've read has added to my view of the world. I can't recall right now if there has ever been one that has made me do a complete one eighty has for as my views on anything but books in general have made me become a better person, strive for self improvement, feel closer to God and Jesus, and strengthen my sense of morals.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

2011-01-28T14:16:00.000-08:00

stress due to my weight, stress due to not saving money, that kind of stress turns me in to a harpie, and I don't like, I try to avoid but the last 5 months has not been possible and its killing me. Time for Yoga!

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

2011-01-27T10:01:00.000-08:00

I haven't tried living without my husband or son, so I guess I can't really choose either of them and they are the ones I would have chosen. So I'll go with the obvious I can't live without food and water. I've lived without electricity, I lived without running water and I lived without cell phones (for most of my life mind you). Yeah it sucked at times but it made me realize there is a lot of things I can live without. Not that it does me much good because my husband still has many things he thinks he "needs" that he doesn't (*cough* xbox *cough*)so we still spend all of our money on luxury items and like the rest of America have no savings and are living paycheck to paycheck. It gets on my nerves.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

2011-01-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

first off I don't know who to choose, there are a couple different bands and singers, one is Garth Brooks, Or George Straight, Or the band Nirvana (yeah I do love me some grunge rock). And the beatles, and lately Jason Aldean, All American Recjects, Punchline, Army of Freshmen. So I guess I'll have to make the letter to music.

Dear music,

Since my young prepubescent days you have kept my faith and hope alive. Though a stubborn soul and it takes a lot for me to give up but when I get close to that point there is always a song to get me through, like Amarillo sky! Thank for this, and I look forward to the next motivating song you will play for me.

Love

Me

2011-01-25T15:15:00.001-08:00

Playing with my giraffe :)
SweetSpiller

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Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

2011-01-25T08:35:00.000-08:00

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Something I never get compliments on, um, give me a minute. I get them on my looks, my writing, my drawing, my cooking, my crafty stuff, my parenting, my country background, my perceived toughness by PJ's marines, even my decorating, my laid back demeanor, once my driving, my sweet nature, my riding, my training, my son's good looks, so that leaves...my house keeping skills!

I admit I'm horrible at keeping my current house clean. Its soooo small! To keep it clean I would have to clean it all day long every day, and I have a life so that isn't going to happen so I just let it go and have a whack at three times a week. but that means we hardly have any one over and its messy more often than its clean I always resolve to better and never do. I know from experience I'm much better at keeping larger houses clean where everything has its space and there is room for everything to have its space. and I have a dish washer, and a clothes washer and dryer.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on

2011-01-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on

People in general seem to compliment me the most on my eyes. especially when I wear make up, every person who wanted or dated me did, probably last most memorable was the black staff sgt that hit on me when i was 4 months preggo and working at the 7 day store as a cashier. He was cute too :) if I wasn't a married lady....well ok he never would have met me if I wasn't married because I'd still be in Idaho working at directv and riding my horses, but I'm just saying he was a cutie and sweet and very good with his words and I was amused. I use it remind PJ even fat I still have it going on so he better keep treating me good.

2011-01-23T15:20:00.001-08:00

today i went and picked up a peanut shell carrier and some other stuff for james. I think i'm going to love this thing its kinda awesome:) the pack carry may be my fav feature
SweetSpiller

Squash Day

2011-01-23T10:47:00.000-08:00

Last Night I fed James squash for the first time, it was a big hit...

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

2011-01-23T08:58:00.000-08:00

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Someone I need to let go or wish I didn't know. Honestly i'm kinda drawing a blank here. mostly because everyone I've met I'm fairly glad I met them, for life experience if nothing else. Or if there is someone I need to let go I either don't know yet or I already have.

You have to see the thing about me is I'm a big self improvement person. I fully believe that if I don't work on making myself a better person every day I will become a horrible shallow alone hermit.

So things like letting go the wrong kind of friends or holding on to regret, or even wishing there was someone I didn't know just don't stew in me. I learn from it, I move on and I live.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

2011-01-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

My friend Rose and I were really close in high school but as I went through college we drifted apart. Not much of a blog to this, I still love her as a friend but it seems like i never hear from her anymore and most of my messages are unanswered.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

2011-01-21T07:52:00.000-08:00

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Ha! 1st through 3rd grade was horrid, I was poor and the kids at school knew and made fun of me for it. It made me socially awkward which just made the teasing worse. Homeschooling was such a relief because it got me away from the daily onslaught of teasing and I still got to see my friends that I liked and were nice to me. While I let that all go a long time it did teach me some valuable lessons that I'm sure they'll benefit from, like it is important to have nice (not necessarily new) clothes to wear. and I will never, ever, EVER make them wear the same outfit twice in a row. ever. I will also make sure to bring cupcakes to school in their honor at least once a year.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

2011-01-20T10:55:00.000-08:00

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

wow, there are some many people who have helped give my life meaning and given me love, but since 08/27/2011 I would have to say Peanut has truly made my life worth living for! He is everything to me and my day and world literally revolve around him. I can't wait to show him how to ride, how to herd cattle, how to budget(I'm a nerd I know) how to read, how to write, how stack a hay stack so it looks neat and tight and stays up all winter. I live to help him to be happy in life and be successful. I live to help him grow up to gracious, compassionate, decisive, strong, confident, and full of self worth. I live for the little moments right now when as his world is ever growing, learning how to grab things and how to communicate with us. I live for the smiles and giggles, for the play time and cuddle time. My son definitely made my life worth living for.

from the pioneer woman on blogging

2011-01-20T02:19:00.000-08:00

1. Be yourself.

Write in your own voice.

Write as if you’re talking to your sister.

Unless you don’t get along with your sister.

Or don’t have a sister.

2. Blog often.

Whether you write a sixteen-paragraph essay about the cosmic implications of a free market system, a one-paragraph description of what happens to your soul when you walk into your godforsaken laundry room, or a simple photo and caption, consider your blog a precious bloom that requires daily nurturing.

And watering.

If you water a plant once every two weeks, it will shrivel.

Unless that plant is a cactus, and then it would thrive.

And to tell you the truth, I really can’t figure out how a cactus fits into this analogy, so forget I brought it up.

3. Be varied.

Change things up.

Offer a smorgasbord of content.

Unless you’re, say, a fashion blog.

And in that case, you should probably continue to blog about fashion.

But never blog about the same top twice!

4. Exercise more.

Blogging is an insidiously sedentary activity, and if you blog daily you should take steps to markedly increase your daily movement.

Unless that movement involves eating coffee ice cream.

In which case it would be better not to markedly increase your daily movement.

5. Allow your boundaries to set themselves naturally.

Don’t feel like you have to sit down and set rules about what you will and will not blog about from day one. Just blog, and see what feels comfortable for you.

I did that.

I’ve found, over time, that I tend to blog about the same things I’d talk to my sister about.

I’ve also found, over time, that I tend not to blog about things I wouldn’t talk to my sister about.

For example, I don’t blog about hanky panky.

I also don’t talk to my sister about hanky panky. If I did, she’d cover her ears and say, “Okay, gross.”

And you probably would, too.

6. Bring back retro phrases like “hanky panky.”

But only if it feels right to you.

7. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself.

On this website, over the course of the past five years, I have burped, performed Britney Spears songs in Ethel Merman’s voice, misspelled words, posted typos, and talked about ways I humiliated myself as both a youngster and an adult.

At times I’ve wondered if maybe the burps were too much.

But they’re a part of me.

At least they were…until they came out of my esophagus.

But you know what I mean.

8. Try your best to spell words correctly and use proper grammar.

You don’t necessarily have to wig out about it.

But do try.

It’s important.

And if one or two of your readers emails you alerting you to a typo, don’t be offended. Thank them profusely and sing praises for the day they were born.

9. If you have writer’s block, push through and blog anyway.

I posted the first chapter of Black Heels on a morning when I woke up with the most raging case of writer’s block, I couldn’t even type my name.

I was sure you’d hate it, but I posted it anyway.

I went on to write forty-plus more chapters.

What if I’d given in to my writer’s block and decided not to blog that day?

I would never have written my Green Acres-meets-War and Peace romance novel.

And my bottom would likely be a little less jiggly.

Please see #4 above.

10. Value every person who takes time out of their day to stop by your blog.

Tell ‘em you love ‘em. Regularly.

11. I love ya.

More’n my luggage.

Mean it.

P-Dub

(Sorry. That was eleven things. Please see #1 above.)

http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2010/09/ten-important-things-ive-learned-about-blogging/

I felt what she had wrote was a great lil blurb to keep us blogging. Of course I don't really feel like I need right now when I can't sleep so I keep blogging and keep typing and keep looking up new stuff that gives me more ideas :) but there are some days where I itch to write but I just don't know what to write about. So here is this to help me and help you if you need it :)

2011-01-19T23:23:00.001-08:00

Peanut sleeping on his fav spot...on me

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

2011-01-19T11:02:00.000-08:00

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Something I hope I never have to do is see the land that has been in my family for 7 generations (8 counting James Ray) sold to someone who doesn’t appreciate our heritage or worse, develops it for subdivisons (shudder). I love that hunk of dirt more that words can say; in things I love it’s in the top ten. 1. God 2.PJ and James 3.Family 4.The Ranch 5.Horses 6.Friends 7. America 8.Ranching 9.Animals in General 10.Good hearted giving people. <--see top ten. This fear of losing the ranch gets me depressed, I’ve woke up crying more than one dream where it was torn away from. PJ can tell you have dreams about doing farm stuff (like when I talked in my sleep about selling produce at a farmers market). It is also a very realistic fear, my parents back home are struggling to keep the mortgage paid and the ranch going, I feel so guilty that I’m down here not doing very much to help that while they work their butts off, I can only hope that they know how much I appreciate it and they can keep hanging on just for a little while longer.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

2011-01-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh my goodness there is so much that I hope to do with my life that it isn't even funny. Travel and see Mongolia, race in the Tevis Cup, See Britian, go on a cruise, Vacay down in Mexico, but the number one thing I probably would want to do in my life is see my family ranch become successful. I don't care which idea I have makes it happen, I don't care if its horses or cows or ppl, I just want to see the ranch successful and leave a profitable legacy to my children, not a burden.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

2011-01-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

I have to forgive my former friend Amie for manipulating me so easily in college, she was one of my closest and best friends but she was never happy unless there was some drama...some war with someone in her life. I put up with it because for some crazy reason I thought she would never do that to me, and then when it did, I would let it go. Three different times. The last time was the last, but I forgive her for it now. Despite Amie's short comings she had some good points, like being super fun, and super out going. Most of our time together was a blast and I hope she's as happy with her life as I am with mine.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

2011-01-16T01:05:00.000-08:00

Something I have to forgive myself for? mmmmm most things I already have. I'm really big on learning from my mistakes and moving on. For this blog I will say I forgive myself for gaining weight again before PJ came back, i gained in college and lost it when I moved back home and swore I would let myself get that unhealthy but somehow i gained it all back and then some. It sucked balls!

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

2011-01-14T23:17:00.000-08:00

Something I love about myself. Hmmmmm there is so much, but just to be corny I love that I love to love.

I love to have close friend to keep in touch with, just ask the girls from college :) I love to love family, I love to love my husband, I love to love my son, I love to love who ever I work for, I love to love my friends I love to love my animals I just love to love. love love love.

Thirty Days of Truth, Day One

2011-01-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

My Sister in Law has been doing this 30 days of truth thing, (and now that my own computer is up and running I caught up on her blog) and it seemed like a a good way to start the new year by looking back on my life. So here's the plan.

Do a daily post listing the following:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Day One: Something I hate about myself.

That is kind of heavy. Hard to choose to because the parts of myself I use to hate I have learned to love them. But if I had to choose, my Fat, as much as I love my body for giving my handsome son I hate the fat that distorts my awesome body and makes it impossible for me to look good in any outfit. I've been waging a war on my fat (especially the spare tire around my middle) and it's been slow going, but I'm not giving up. I will get rid of my huge gut. So my Fat, That is what I hate about myself.

So Far on Being A Mommy

2010-11-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

In Just 12 too short weeks I've learned several things about being a mommy.

Peanut is my very own make me happy charm. I can be having the most depressing mood moment and he takes me out of myself and makes me happy a gain, even when he's being fussy and cranky he can just bring the sunshine back into my life :)

My love is so strong for him, I tear up sometimes just looking at him and how perfect he is. You can never know a feeling like this until you have your own baby and are caring for them, how you know in the moment you would do anything to protect them...and how all you want is the very very best for them.

Even when you're not a morning person and the crying wakes you up at 5am and you peek over the side of the crib and the smiles and squeals begin-- letting you know you are the most important things in their life, it transforms you into a morning person.

Or being awaking by the lil man queitly cooing to himself, just laying there listening to him sounding so happy and having a whole conversation with himself.

Having a captive prisoner to take pictures of! It's amazing how much you love taking pictures when your little man loves you and willing to smile at every silly sound you make.

Loving the moments between father and son as they bond with one and another. The contentment from watching your lil family interact with each other in a happy peaceful way :)

Peanut's First Halloween : Story of the Lil HorseCow

2010-11-01T02:49:00.000-07:00

So mostly Peanut's 1st Halloween consisted of taking pictures of him :) and going grocery shopping in his costume! He was just so cute and cuddly and I had way to much fun.

His costume was bought by his Grandma Chelle, we call it the HorseCow outfit because we can't decide if the design was want it to be a cow-as the tell and nose would suggest or a horse as the mane and ears would suggest.

Here is the story of the Lil' HorseCow:

A picture of the rare HorseCow is captured on this fateful day All Hallow's Eve...

a Chirmera of two domestic herbivores...

....we wonder what he was created for.

He lolls over to his side, seemingly unaware that we are watching him in wonder...studying him to explain to ourselves this miracle of life...

So peaceful this young foal/calf is in his sleep...

...he is unaware of his adoring fans.

He has remarkable coloring and

a face that just begs to be kissed.

This fuzzy babe seems to be the essence of everything sweet and adorable.

the adorable lil' horse cow doesn't know that any minute...

lil HorseCow is allowed to go back to sleep,

to awake again shortly, renewed and refreshed ready to charm his many admirers...

The Lil HorseCow lives happily ever after!

He does have the sweetest smile!

Stroller Derby

2010-10-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

I had never heard of them before but this morning James and I particpated in a 2 mile stroller derby! take a look....

James is asleep after we crossed the finish line...

Sun coming up while on the walk/run

Tshirt we won for participating

Peanut goes Riding...

2010-10-24T21:52:00.000-07:00

I meant to post these a while ago but my computer has been down and haven't had the chance, I finally broke down and just downloaded the pics to my husbands computer.

These are of Peanut's first ride...with me on our pony Lightning.

Lightning is my brother's pony although he's more Mom and Dad's now that Rebel is all grown up and moved away. He's a pony we bred and raised ourselves, he's also a full brother to my pony; Silver Star, who passed away while I was in Twin Falls for college.

Lightning was trained by Rebel from when Rebel was around eleven or so. Ligtning has become a wonderful little horse who does very good and taking green riders and building their confidence. He has a funny and quirky personality that is so much fun. I can't wait until Peanut is big enought that lightning can teach him about riding solo.

We even got Grandma Chelle to ride!

It was an awesome day!

aaaahhhh another day in mother hood

2010-10-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today was kind of wasted on the vacuum, its lost most of its suction and i don't know why, I think i'm going to have to take it apart to see what's going on, I spent most of my free time trying to clean it out and make it vacuum up dog hair... which it usually does with out any problem but today nothin'.

When I wasn't cussing out my vacuum I was cuddling with my son...he is so dang cute now, he's staying awake longer (which means I get less done) and he interacts with us more making baby sounds and smiling, getting all excited with his hands and feet when we are talking to him but not holding him, I love it! Peanut just cracks me up.

Funny think happened, I was nursing Peanut and his diaper must of been gapping in the back because I started noticing a spreading warm sensation...James was peeing on me! I couldn't believe it :) so funny.

Peanut's first Month Pictures

2010-10-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

This is a little late getting up but here are some of my fav snap shots from my lil man's first month from my camera.

One his very first Stroller ride!

Using his Binkie for the first time, he wasn't impressed...

cute naked baby butt :)

first time meeting Grandpa Phil

Sleeping on Papa Jamie

meeting Great Grandma Marian for the First time

loving the time with Grandma Be!

on a pony for the first time

he just looked to cute :)

The New Ten Great Joys in my Life

2010-09-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

Ten Great Joys of My Life

A Healthy Baby Boy!
Having a Loving Husband who cuddles without being asked and say I Love You everday all day long.
The Ranch is all it Beauty and having it as my Heritage
My Family, Who Has Been So Supportive of PJ, James Ray and I
My Horse
My Eternal Optimism
That PJ has a steady paycheck
Being a Mommy!
My Good Health!
Good Friends near and far

Showing James his "teacher" pony; Lightning.

Peanut's Birth Story

2010-09-11T02:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry this took so long, been a wee bit busy with my little man :)

PJ and I went to the doctor on the 24th--I was 80% effaced and only a finger tip dilated. Peanut was at the number one station. I did have one good contraction during the baby's Non stress test! Yay! Dr. Self told us that she didn't want me going over a week past due so we decided to being induced on the 26th if I didn't going into labor before then, I didn't.

dressed up ready for the induction to begin!

PJ snoozing out right away

Thursday came and bright and early PJ and I headed to St Luke's and got settled into our room. PJ was mister grumpy gills and went right back to sleep while the nurse set up very first IV (and I would be so happy if its my very last) and hooked me up to the monitors... one for the baby's heart rate and one for my contractions and then she gave me my first dose of Cytotec, which they were using not just for inducing contractions but to get me to dilate as well. A little after PJ and I got there Mom and Brenna came and hung out. Then Michelle came, and then Mom Michelle came that afternoon.

Brenna and Mom arrive.

I had to be monitored for two hours after they gave me the Cytotec but when two hours were up they released me to walk around and get out of bed. Which was nice. For the next dose of medicine they hooked the saline back up and it stung so dang bad that I told them for the rest of the time I would just stay hooked up and push my little saline bag around with me, which was actually kind of fun in a way.

The day pretty much went on like this, little to no progress on my end or Peanut's, he hadn't dropped any more than Tuesday. Six O'Clock Dr. Self came and checked on me and discussed my options for the night, I decided that I would keep taking the cytotec through the night and she would give me some Ambien to sleep through the contractions. The monitor had been showing me that I had been having contractions but they weren't that bad. They brought in a birthing ball for me while I was waiting for the last dose of my cytotec and the ambien and my hubby was able to bring me my notebook so I could spend some quality time with facebook and the bump :)

Friday I woke up bright and early they started me on Oxytocin and the nurse checked me, all that time and I was only 2 cm dilated, dang it! While the nurse was checking me I had a contraction, and between her checking me and me contracting at the same exact time it caused my water to break. There was meconium in my fluid which could be a sign of the baby in stress so that had our guard up.

After that the contractions got stronger and more painful there was not breaks between the big ones, they would peak super strong and painful then kind of dull out but not all the way then they were super strong again. Poor Mom was crying watching me in pain.

Then what had to be around 8 or so they came in and checked me again and I was at 5 cm, thank goodness I was finally making some progress! It wasn't long after that the contractions got REALLY painful, not quite to the point where I thought I couldn't handle it...but I was thinking that if I was only 5cm and it hurt THIS bad then I really didn't want to feel how bad 10 cm felt. Turns out I was going to find out anyways!

I told the nurse to go ahead and get the handy dandy epidural person, it didn't seem like that long for her to get there, but by the time she was prepping my back I was feeling the urge to push (my nurse actually said "don't push yet" I don't think she understood I didn't have a choice in the matter) so in between contractions they got the epi in and it was AWESOME. It didn't completely take the pain away but enough so I could be normal and not crazy cussing lady. I was worried that it would completely numb my legs and I wouldn't be able to feel my legs but I was able to move them and feel every contraction (all of which were the PUSH PUSH PUSH kind now) so I was very happy with my epi.

PJ was a little freaked out by the size of the needle but I didn't have to see it so I didn't care, I was just happy I didn't have to sit on the edge of the bed anymore, OMG that made every contraction way worse, in fact when I first sat up a super strong contraction hit me right then that I had to stand up, like shoot up to standing to get through it. That is one thing that sucked about being monitored constantly (because I was induced and on on the oxytocin) I couldn't walk through the contractions like I really wanted to do, hopefully next kid I'll go into labor naturally and can do that because standing felt a lot better than sitting and standing felt a little bit better than laying down.

The nurse checked me right after they gave me the epi and I was 10 cm! in like 45 mins I went from 5cm to 10cm! No wonder it hurt so bad, I was transitioning! I'm still happy I got the epi, my whole mind set going into labor was that since epi's can slow down the labor I didn't want to get it until the pain got bad and I was dilated enough that it wasn't going to slow down the pregnancy and that is exactly what I did :)

My doctor was called right away and I got set up for pushing. By the time she walked in (which wasn't long at all) the baby's head was visible! I pushed for 45 minutes (I told myself there was no way I was going to push for hours, was going to get it over with!) and felt the "ring of fire" and the head was out! Then another ring and the shoulders were out! They announced the baby was a BOY and put him up on my chest and PJ cut the cord. I was in shock a little bit because it didn't really sink in that I was all done I just kept tracing Peanut's perfect little ear and repeating to myself that I had a boy! He was crying LOUDLY even before he was all the way out, very healthy lungs on my lil big man! And he was chewing on his hands rooting around, already hungry :) The nurses wisked him a way to make sure everything was ok, because of the meconium and to weigh him and all of that fun stuff. I had some minor tears that my doc took care of and then I got to feed my baby boy for the first time. PJ was just super thrilled that we had a boy :)

Peanut's Stats at birth were:

8lbs 15.6 oz, 21 inches long, 14 inch head! Born at 11:35 am on Friday August 27, 5 days between my birthday and PJ's birthday.

I love my lil man so much its amazing how much you can love a little person so much so fast. I just couldn't be happier right now as this little guys mother. I'm the stereotypical paranoid mother but I just want to keep him protected from EVERYTHING right now while he's so tiny, fragile and helpless. Sometimes I have a hard time going to sleep because I want to make sure he's still breathing while he's sleeping. Its terrifying. I'm getting better though.

day 2 of inducement

2010-08-27T04:51:00.001-07:00

so I woke up this morning to more painful contractions. The nurse did an exam on , cervix is paper thin but I'm still not dilated! ugh!!!!!! During the examine my water broke, and there was meliconum in it, not really what I wanted I wanted to hear. but I hope the water breaking gets things more real.
Ok so got another check because they didn't know what to make of me being so thin but not dilated....and the lady made dilate up to a 3 by playing with the hole there! yay! water broke an finally some freakin' dilation!!!
bring on the PAIN! in contractions that is!

did i mention i found out at llpm that this hospital has wifi? i got pretty excited.